Veni, vidi, vici

Veni. Vidi. Vici. (And a boring depressing rant.)

J.R. Hartley

Hello again reader, i welcome you to the weekend, one which yet again has seen me piled up with bloody geography work. Yes i am going to complain about it but then i would think it rather prudent to do the work as soon as possible, i recently -along with every other year 12 and 13 in the country- got my January exam results back and to be quite honest with you they were awful, An E and a U but never-mind it is a rather large kick up the arse and have encouraged me to work harder and potentially do well. Hence the title of this post, when i finish year 13 i want to be able to say Veni. Vidi. Vici. - Simply, I came, I saw, I conquered. I took on BRJ, the exam board and managed to come out with good grades and get into University. Well thats the hope anyway but i am a long way off from there yet!

Anywho, i feel i have nothing i can really publicly rant out, i'm sure you don't want to hear about what i really have on my mind. But i will tell you how i've been feeling lately, I think i can summarise my slightly somber mood with some Dean Martin lyrics; (Song here http://bit.ly/bgkIwb)

"You're nobody 'til somebody loves youYou're nobody 'til somebody caresYou may be king, you may possess the world and it's goldBut gold won't bring you happiness when you're growing oldThe world still is the same, you never change itAs sure as the stars shine aboveYou're nobody 'til somebody loves youSo find yourself somebody to love"

Shall i explain? Well yes because i do what i want not to please no damn sod reading this. You're nobody 'till somebody loves you, well that one is plain and simple of late everyone just seems to be well busy or self-invovled and im just feeling a bit on me own and stuff, it would be nice to just have one person to talk to i just feel so so alone. I Undoubtedly would assume that i have not spoken to someone i actually know for more than 10 minutes outside of school. and even if that has happened they never show a concern in me.

Speaking of that point whenever i do speak to the odd person (Bar one or two people) people are so self-involved the conversation ALWAYS has to be centered on them, and if it isnt the conversation dies and we are left awkwardly making small talk.

The line about gold not bringing you happiness when you're growing old well i don't think that is just about having gold or riches i think its just about having too much of anything apart from love and then that thing just starts to go with time, so it could be lost of random sex, drugs, drink, gold, money, women, music whatever you name it, but basically the pleasure goes with time and you're left alone with something that brought you pleasure at some point in your life but now is just a apart of routine.

SO FIND YOURSELF SOMEBODY TO LOVE!! simple to round off the rather depressing post off i would like to simply say to anyone and everyone out there find happiness, Find love, find it anywhere you can because hell to quote, Red from the shawkshank Redemption "get bust living, or get busy dying" and loving is an essential part of living, going back to dean martin, You're nobody till somebody loves you! Because you never know when you're passing on some amazing woman to chase some other tart and you end up with both of them passing on you and end up grumpy and spending your weekend moaning about every little thing you can think off that pisses you off and staring out the window wondering what depressing thing is in store for you next.

Nevermind, end rant, i miss Alcohol.

How are the readers of this post?
Any big news?
Pointless questions that no one will bother to answer?
Did anyone even read this far?
Did i mention how much i hate things?

That's life, Now with Extra Sinatra. Bi-polar-arrific'

That's life, Now with Extra Sinatra.

 Bi-polar-arrific'

I wish to appolgise in advance, this is written to a poor standard however i just cannot be arsed to sort it out, normal service will resume in the next post! i assure you!

Now In this post i will delve into something a little deeper than the usual Byron jam jacked fun! i shall be talking about how it is to live with Bi-polar. Outright i should state that i have not be psychoanalysed with Bi-polar, however it is commonly accepted that Bi-polar is hereditary. All the men on my mothers side of the family have Bi-polar and i show indefinite signs of Bi-polar and will not be diagnosed with it purely because i hate Hospitals, and even more being analysed by healthcare professionals, however i still have the mindset of someone suffering with bi-polar, the amazing highs followed by the terrific lows, i shall be giving you an insight today dear reader just to explain to myself, mostly, how i feel.

Let me give you the low down on my feels today then, i know i had one unbelievable high but thats another matter.

7 Am woke up, literally struggled out of bed to think of a reason to drag myself to Sixth Form (Low)

7:30 Am My mum said i could go to see The Who, Yes The Freaking Who (Ecstatic High)

9:05 Am sat in the Sixth Form, with people who discuss football all the fucking time... (Mid low)

10:45 Am Doing the runnaround for some ungrateful sod who was perfectly capable of doing it themselves, and not taking on board my excellent and faultless advice because i know my stuff when it comes to that topic (burning anger and resentment at how easily i will do things for people)

12:30 Pm Really hurt my foot, owwie, (Quite funny actually)

2 Pm After having dragged myself to New College i just couldn't stand to be in that lesson any more and faked a doctors appointment to get out of the last 1/3(seething anger again after having calmed down)

3 Pm When a Prat ruins something you were excited about, Passive aggressive sod that he is. I suspect some Freudian Flaws (Low

4 Pm Home to find my mum actually interested in what i have to say for a change (High)

5 Pm Reading about insolent peoples failures at goals they have set numerous times... Seething anger yet again

At times i just feel like the sinatra song, Thats Life, Enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qh_TKJTPsQ